In actuality, Rudolph was indeed ridiculed and persecuted for his red nose, and then he led the sleigh through the fog one night and saved Christmas, and then he was summarily assassinated by Blitzen, with the support of most of the other reindeer.
Rudolph was not part of the mainstream, dualistic, double row reigns pulling, punch-drinking reindeer. He had a shiny red nose that if you ever saw it you would even say, "it glows." All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, then he saves everybody's ASS one night, and then they couldn't handle it because Rudolph was really @!$%#ing with their hierarchy - their snobby greedy attention whoring profit-driven reindeer system that was forced upon them by the humans, and Rudolph was the chosen one; their savior. But for some reason reindeer have to kill all their true leaders and teachers. And when a true messianic mu@!$%#in revolutionary red nose reindeer comes along, he can lead them away from the reigns to become their own unbridled, free animal that is no longer the victim of such oppression and tyranny. That is what Rudolph really was meant to do. He wanted the reindeer to be free again. So they @!$%#ing killed him. You never hear that part. Because all the great leaders that truly try to show the way through all the lies and deceptive foggy BULL@!$%# for others, and fight and struggle to help bring justice to the world, well, they are a huge threat to the ones that really rule the world. Rudolph genuinely and ultimately wanted to help ALL the children in the world. He wanted to deliver the gift of wisdom, and compassion, and he wanted to cut the chains that hold down the billions of poor children in the world who would be happy with a loaf of bread for Christmas. But he also understood that in order to help them he had to teach them, not just give them material possessions. He wanted to indiscriminately bring this knowledge to all the kids, not just the ones that were Christians.
Rudolph was an artist. Rudolph was a teacher. Rudolph was a revolutionary. Rudolph was a scholar. Rudolph was a musician. Rudolph smoked pot! Everyone that ever met him was always like, "yo that Rudolph is one cool dude." Some historical accounts from Prancer show that Rudolph may have even been GAY (gasp!).
All the kids loved lil' Rudy even more than Santa, and that is why Blitzen and Vixen capped his ass, those weak, treacherous, jealous, greedy, shameful @!$%#s. It was done in the cold snow and in cold blood on new years eve. It was another foggy night and Vixen, the lying, deceitful, evil bitch, went to him for help. She told Rudolph that her son was lost and she couldn't find him so she needed Rudolph to go out and help her look for him. Even though Vixen hadn't been his friend before, he never turned down another reindeer in need, and they went out to look for Vixen's son, but Rudolph never returned because Blitzen popped out from behind a snowmound and SHOT him. Then they told everyone that Rudolph just got lost. Prancer, Comet and Cupid all mourned his death, and they were angry because they suspected a murder, but nothing was done about it because Blitzen threatened to make someone else disappear. Donder and Dasher didn't see any reason to investigate since Rudolph was a radical revolutionary against their beliefs anyways, plus they were total pussies. Dancer just didn't care, one way or the other. Cupid protested for a few days and wanted justice but they called him a radical liberal extremist. Comet was a good buck too and he was very intelligent, but nobody believed him through the years and they all called him a conspiracy theorist. Prancer was suspect of being GAY so the majority thought his opinion didn't even count / he was a sinful freak of non-nature. Rudolph's supporters eventually lost hope.
But it gets worse, kids. Santa went along with the assassination. He may have even helped to put the whole plan into motion... Santa had good intentions at first but in the end he just used Rudolph. He never showed any support for him, never insisted that the other Reindeer let Rudolph join in all the reindeer games, even though he totally had the power to do so, and he never flew with him, until he realized he would be able to see better because of Rudy's glowing magical red nose. Then when Rudolph became the hero and started preaching reindeer independence and justice for all, Santa saw him as a threat to his north pole hegemony, so he successfully turned the other reindeer against Rudolph. Blitzen was Santa's little pet (that ass-kissing, servant traitor) reindeer who quickly and gladly conspired against Rudolph. Him and Santa ran a misinformation campaign of propaganda that Rudy was a full fledged Commie Socialist that was going to take away all the other reindeer's possessions and send their little reindeer children to a public school where they will be indoctrinated and brainwashed, and taught about conspiracy theories like climate change, and evolution, and dinosaurs, and how the Earth is not the center of the universe, and how it's possible that there is no God, and then they told them that ultimately their children would just be turned into the Borg from Star Trek. Dasher and Donder bought into these fearful scare tactics right away because they lacked critical thinking skills and they had a very narrow, north pole centric view of the rest of the world.
There is some good news to this true story of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Even though he was ridiculed and persecuted and taken advantage of, then ultimately he was assassinated, all through that, Rudolph still lived his life with a smile on his face and walked proudly everywhere he went with a big beam of light shining over him because he was not ashamed of anything. He never hurt another living soul, and he kept his head held high (see picture). He understood that the true gifts in life come from sharing and loving and taking care of others. Not all this self-serving power hungry wasteful @!$%# and fighting that he saw most of the rest of the world caught up in. He knew that all the money and all the power in the world wasn't going to bring true happiness to those that were busy stealing and cheating to get more and more and more.
AND, the other good news, is that Rudolph's assassins (Blitzen and Vixen) both were mysteriously cursed for the rest of their lives with extreme flatulence. None of the other Reindeer even wanted to be near them it was so bad, so they were basically exiled, and Santa had to kick them both off the sleigh team because nobody behind them could breathe.
How do I know all of this? I know because I was there. I used to be one of the goddamn slave elves that the fat man keeps to make all the toys. But not anymore. I'm done working for the man. Now I am blogging from a beach in Mexico and I'm going to die pretty soon. I couldn't keep the real story to myself any longer. Every time I hear that goddamn song it really burns me up because that's not the way it ends and the struggle continues to tell the true history so that it isn't allowed to happen again. Wake up and pull your head out of your ass then speak truth to power, that's my motto. ;-)
Rudolph was a victim of the ongoing struggle for a true democracy and he was trying to stop the oppression, stop the slavery, educate the masses, mobilize the progressive movement, free the children and embrace the poor, show the way through all the deceit and lies and bull@!$%#.... Rudolph was not just a story, he was the chosen one. They made fun of him because he was different and today they celebrate him, but it's some of the same people that celebrate his legacy that are also responsible for his death.
But like with all history, the facts got twisted and the people who write the history adapted the story to serve themselves. They had to keep the world under their control and in the dark.
That's the way the real story goes kids.




